I cannot wait to live on my own next year

I decided to put some chicken buillon on my pasta tonight, thinking “yay, chicken noodles”

But nope

Salty

Salty

Salty

Noodles

Skittles Vodka is too mainstream for my stepdad—he makes horseradish vodka

I have this vague, dark memory of a really intense water slide that I may have ridden as a small child, but I’m not sure if it’s an actual memory or maybe just a dream. 

Anyway, my dad and I had to climb this really really really high metal stairway, and there was a huge line to get to the top. Eventually we got up there. I looked down, and it was a really steep, long, covered ride. So then my dad took me down the slide, carrying me, and it was pretty fun. But then at the bottom, it seemed that the tunnel was completely filled with water, like  it was a swimming pool, and that scared the shit out of me. And it hurt. 

But yeah. Not sure if dream or memory.

gun50cal replied to your photo: WELL.

now wherd you pick that up?

My supercool stepdad got it for me

God damn, mom

Maybe everyone wouldn’t always be snippy if it weren’t self defense, because you’re such a goddamn difficult person to deal with.

I wanna do something fun today

Most adorable, sweet, friendly hamster, and best pet I’ve ever had.

I just realized I have a car

:D